Sunday, December 27, 2009

More Than That


I can see that you've been crying
You can't hide it with a lie
What's the use in you denying
That what you have is wrong
I heard him promise you forever
But forever's come and gone
Baby, he would say whatever
It takes to keep you blind
To the truth between the lines, oh


I will love you more than that
I won't say the words
Then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance
Baby listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that

Baby, you deserve much better
What's the use in holding on
Don't you see it's now or never
Cause I just can't be friends
Baby knowing in the end, that..

There's not a day that passes by
I don't wonder why we haven't tried
It's not too late to change your mind
So take my hand, don't say goodbye

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Juz Married..




Saya kecik ati dan berasa pilu. sedih teramat. menghitung hari umur saya genap 24 thn.
Sehingga kini, saya tidak mempunyai cinta korea saya..Mak saya hari2 tanya mana bf saya.
Aduh2. Sekolah belum habis. macam mana mau kawen ini. Sepanjang bulan December ini
byk sepupu saya berkawin..tp saya bila lagi..tidak tahu la apa mau jadi..

It's Christmas..

dunno how to say bout diz year christmas.
boleh la.. before diz im wish for miracle, but i know it wouldnt happend.
when i was down for anything, God has show me sumthing.
Thanks..

Monday, December 21, 2009

Aku Sakit...

I hate this christmas.
i hate this 2009
i hate this month..
i wish for miracle, but i know it impossible
i wish for blesses, but i know it wont
i wish for happiness, but i know i get sadness..

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Thanks God


I have told him everything. Everything. It;s hurt for both of us but that;s the truth.
We give tym to each other to accept all this thing. and I wish we still stick together..
I do love him with all my heart.. i give my everything.. i hope GOD will hear my pray..

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Atok Ku

tentatif hari ini :

6.30 am : bangun pagi
7.00 am : townsquare kapit
7.30 am : makan mee kedai AWIE
8.45 am : ambik atok kat wharf
9.30 am : BSN bank
10.30 am : Kompleks Kerajaan Negeri
11.30 am : BSN bank
12.30 pm : shopping BESEN
1.30 pm : home
2.00 pm : nunuk chicken wing
4.30 pm : beli 4D
5.00 pm : dye rambut atok ku

akan bersambung...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Buah Kakus

baruk jak lemai tadik cdak mak ku ngumpul buah kakus.
nda ngau gak aku. nungkun ke api tisi nya aja. kena muru nyamok.
neh. maioh buah nya. amat maioh. se-uyut siko cda ya. buah temedak bisi gak mimit.
maioh bagi ngau org. hahaha..bisi cita lucu. bisi indu tuai cko. indu kayan. ngau ucu ya ngumpul buah gak.

situasi 1 :
i.kayan ( ngaruk burit )
ucu ya : nama gak d gerut2 ngaru burit d inik.?
i.kayan : gatal mat gak burit inik tok ar.

situasi 2 :
ucu ya : bendar mat dik inik, dah ngaru burit garuk gak palak
i.kayan : nyak meh ucu. gatal mat tok maioh semut.

situasi 3 :
bapakku : hahahaa..bendar mat bergaruk wai..
i.kayan : nya meh wai..acuk rumput malu burit ku tok. nya meh gatal.

situasi 4 :
mak ku ngau geng2 ya tuchum2 lelegup ka ketawa tang nagang dirik. hahaha..

lucu mat..

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Gawai Antu Spiritual Festival

on 5th December, my family having this "gawai antu"..spiritual festivals..i dont really know wat this festival about. my mum said, it's about to remember the person dat already die. erm..this festivals remind us about my kazen grandfather's. a bit sad but i really enjoy the day.







Apa yang penting, itu kerjsama -wonderpets


Im included some info about " gawai antu ". Maybe it could giving some new knowledge to everyone..

The final secondary rites of the dead are the most complex of all. These rites, called the Gawai Antu, constitute major memorialization rituals and are ideally performed by each longhouse roughly once in every generation. Requiring several years of preparation, they memorialize all of the community’s dead (orang ke parai) whose deaths occurred since the last Gawai was performed by the longhouse. The head of the bilik having the oldest dead acts as the ‘Gawai elder’ (tuai gawai). The Gawai Antu feasts the dead and completes their final transformation into spirits (merantu). This transformation is effected primarily by erecting, at the conclusion of the Gawai, tomb huts (sungkup) over the graves of the dead. These elaborately carved huts are made of ironwood and are equipped with miniature furnishings and garong baskets, the latter symbolizing the personal achievements of each individual dead . In the Otherworld these huts represent full-size longhouses or, in totality, the parts of a single longhouse. The Gawai Antu thus establishes the dead in a longhouse of their own, thereby providing them with the means for a self-sufficient existence independent of the world of the living. For this reason, the Gawai is sometimes described by the bards as a rite of berumah (house construction). In this sense, the final rites of death are, significantly, house building rites. But unlike ordinary berumah, construction takes place, not in the visible world, but in the Otherworld of the dead, as the sungkup, at the conclusion of the Gawai, are reassembled in the cemetery, ritually separated and physically removed from the world of the living.

At its beginning and end, then, the main rites of Gawai Antu are bracketed by major stages of ritual house building. The Gawai opens with the gawai beban ramu, the ‘ritual fashioning (ban) of construction materials (ramu)’. This is followed by ngeretok, the preparation of the parts of the sungkup huts, which are then carried from the forest and assembled by each family for temporary display on its tanju’. Finally, immediately following the main Gawai rituals, the sungkup are removed from the longhouse and carried to the cemetery where they are reassembled, away from the longhouse, over the graves of the dead.

On the day that precedes ngeretok — the preparation of the parts of the sungkup — families repair or replace their panggau platform and make ready their gallery to receive guests. In the late afternoon, the women begin to soak glutinous rice in the river, while the men construct the bamboo rugan altars in which each family feeds its dead. These are attached to the passageway pillar representing the family’s tiang pemun . This feeding begins at dusk on the evening prior to ngeretok and continues each night until the conclusion of the Gawai. At dusk, the first welcoming of the spirits of the dead (ngalu antu) is performed on the longhouse gallery. From now until the end of Gawai Antu, at dusk and at dawn, the spirits are welcomed and seen off, as they arrive in the world of the living and temporarily depart again. The Gawai emphasizes the complementarity of male and female roles, as on the following day when the men perform ngeretok, fashioning the sungkup huts, and the women plait the ritual garong baskets. The work of plaiting is called nganyam and is performed by the women inside the bilik apartments, while the men work on the upper gallery. Both these tasks are generally completed in a single day. Afterwards, several days of preparation elapse before the main Gawai rites resume.

Kindred (kaban) generally arrive the day before the start of the Gawai proper in order to assist the host families with preparations. They bring with them fowls, eggs, fruit and garden produce. Beginning soon after dawn on the first day of Gawai Antu, guests (pengabang) begin to arrive. After bathing at the penai’, they are ceremonially welcomed into the house. Among the first to be received are the principal warriors who will later drink the ai’ buloh, the main ritual rice wine served from the garong containers plaited by the women. They are followed by a second group of warriors who will later drink the ai’ timang jalong wine which is carried by the bards as they sing (nimang) the Gawai invocation. The welcoming of guests continues throughout much of the day. The principal guests comprise the house’s cofeasting allies (sapemakai); they generally arrive and are received in groups, as longhouse communities.At dusk no further guests may be received. Instead, the hosts and guests combine to welcome the gods, spirit-heroes and spirits of the dead. After the latter have been welcomed and feasted with offerings, hosts and guests sit down to the first of a series of feasts consumed in emulation of their spiritual visitors.

The ritual organization of longhouse space also underscores distinctions between the living and the dead and between human beings, the gods, spirit-heroes and spirits of the dead. After the human guests have arrived and been welcomed with rice wine at each family’s section of the tempuan, they are shown to their hosts’ ruai, where the male guests are eventually ‘arranged in order’ (bedigir) along their hosts’ panggau. At dusk, the gods (petara) and returning spirits of the dead (antu sebayan) are invoked by the bards and welcomed to the house by the Gawai hosts and guests through a series of ritual processions (ngalu antu) that circle the upper and lower gallery . But before the bards begin their invocation, the warriors who are to drink the ai’ buloh wine prepare a pathway for the dead along the gallery floor (ngerandang jalai). Dancing along the ruai with drawn swords, they cut invisible ‘undergrowth’ and clear the way of spiritual obstructions . After this, the warriors who are to drink the ai’ jalong wine, make the path prepared by the first group of warriors ritually secure by metaphorically ‘fencing it with an invisible handrailing’ (ngelalau). The arrival of the dead is anticipated in other ways as well. While living guests are welcomed into the longhouse by way of its upriver entrance, the dead are believed to come from downriver, retracing the route of their · original departure. Thus, before the spirits arrive, all the mats covering the gallery floor are taken up at the direction of the Gawai elder, reversed, and laid down again, so that their edges now overlap in the opposite downriver-to-upriver direction. This is said to prevent the spirits of the dead from ‘tripping’ as they walk along the gallery floor, their actions emulated by the processions of human guests.

to be continue...

Source : http://epress.anu.edu.au/austronesians/inside/mobile_devices/ch04s12.html

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Saya Cinta Dia..


Menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
Membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
Mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
Saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku Align Center

Banyak kata
Yang tak mampu kuungkapkan
Kepada dirimu

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau
Kuslalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau
Kuslalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu

happy bebday momoe!!


momoe!! tok hadiah ari club jui untuk dik. hahaha

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

always-bon jovi


This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time

Yeah, I will love you baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

My Everyday Without Pitbull and Akon..

Hahahaha.. I cannot imagine my life without Pitbull and Akon..also without lady gaga. What else I can say??? Eh eh eh.. I hope that I going back to home that I can clean myself from everything. Wanna be an angel to my mummy n daddy. But.. Seriously, I don’t act like usual. Don’t know why. I talk less. I laugh less. I smile less. I just go to market with mummy everyday. Stay at home. Watch TV. Go to Cello’s house everyday. I don’t even know what im going to do when I was in Kapit. So bored… the best thing that happened in kapit now is Fruit Season. Durian. Dabai. Rambutan. Sibau. Langsat. Isau. My favourite is dabai..delicious..nyummy2.. hahaha.. boring2. My aunty & uncle, even frens of daddy send fruits to our house everyday…lejuk dah..boring..hehehee…







[[ buah mawang ]]



[[ buah durian ]]



[[ buah mak ]]



[[ buah dabai ]]

20th November 2009



Wake up on 6.48am. Erm…it’s early. But I have to wake up. Im goin to kampung today..Yesterday, buy all mosquito lotion.mau halang itu nyamuk gigit saya. Hahaha. Eh, it’s 20th Nov. Daddy’s birthday. It’s today..I get up from bed n go to my dady n mumy rooms. I wish my dad “happy birthday”. Few tears drop when we in dat situation..i love mummy n daddy too much..no birthday present for day this year because we going to rock da kampung today!! Yeay. I think it’s about 9 years I didn’t goin back to kampung. Lupa daratan dan lautan betol.hahaha..around 11.30am we arrived at Ng Mujong. Using long boat ( long boat = perau panjai) to across da Sungai Rajang..not dat far. Just across the river. Apuu.. my leg shaking2 when I want to sit on dat longboat. Mati mati. Takot takot. Hahahaha.. everything okay. Using landcruiser to continue the journey. Sakai suda melanda otak. Hahaha.. My mummy is my touristguide. It was my first time using land transportation. 10 years ago, we only can use longboat that takes almost 10 hours to reach the kampung. Can u imagine that? Believe or not? Believe it. The very unique things dat I found along da journey is the lake. My kampung or any villagers know that lake. People call that lake “ danau kumang”. The legendary of that danau is the lake never dry even the wheather is too hot..weird? Maybe. I don’t really know about the lake. As soon as I get the story, will update here. Arrived at kampung around 2.15pm. My inek ( grandma ) hug me. And villagers greet me. Hahaha.. macam YB suda.. 3 days 2 night at kampung I hv spend my time by playing. Hahaha.. my dady tagline “ anak, u play too much.u dont even care about everything.u have to explore everything”..hahaha.. Playing!! Hahaha.. U guys know wat im doing when my dad saying dat?? Hahahaa.. u wont believe this. I am playing with the sampan. Hahahaha.. hahahaa.. Few crazy cousins playing wif me, swimming n scream here & there hahhaa.. I don’t know to swim. Hahaha.. my cousin bully me by pulling my leg inside the river. Hahahaaa.. aaaaaarrrrrr!!! Scary..but it’s fun. Really enjoy dat. Hahahaa.. They teach me how to play with the sand. Hahahaa.. “ Main Serang Tanah”. We have 2 team to fight. Throwing sand to other team. Hahahaha.. it’s really fun. It’s really kampung. Hahahaha.. I didn’t feel tired.hahaha.. playing those weird games.wateva..hahaha..leaving the kampung afta 3 days feel dat I goin to miss everything.. my daddy the one who don’t want me to goin to kampung. Why? He don’t want me to feel that hardlife. He suffered when he was still young because of poorness. Even he starving to survive. He don’t me to feel that. He;s giving me everything but not the hardlife.. Thanks to God because He pays for my dady effort. We have almost everything in this world that we call HAPPINESS…Thanks Dad..And Happy Birthday. I pray for your healthy and I love you and mummy so much..




Journey To Kapit

Yeay.It;s Over.End of semester.End of everything.It;s time to refresh my mind from everything.Reset all S**ks things dat happened currently.Generate new energy for new challenges when Im goin bck to Kchg.I hope when I goin back to home, everything will be Okay!! Hahhaa.. Packing all things and bring it to the Cempaka Storage room..mok muntah dengar.Okay.1st day sending ol those things to da store without any charge. The day dat me n Cello will leaving da UNIMAS..Im goin to send all things to da car while Cello send da *baldi* to da store.Then, I received call from Cello.Panas telinga!!Da storekeeper a.k.a budak universiti yg kurang ajar asking us to pay. RM11 for 12 bags. Hey hey!! They told us that we have to pay only RM1 for first 3 bags each.And RM0.50 for extra. 12 – 3 bags = 9 bags. 9bags x RM0.50 = RM4.50. That’s mean, the total is RM3.00 + RM4.50 = RM7.50..But they charge me RM11. Buta ka apa? It’s not about money. I can pay even more then RM11, but da way she ask for charge is very RUDE. Dah namanya aku anak derhaka, melawan itu satu keharusan!! Hahahhaa..Aku ngan Cello melawan dengan hebat. End of da situation, aku ngan Cello xbayar.Nasiblaaaaa…Yahh..Jeremy n Jeff sends me n Cello to the bus terminal. Thanks fwens. Hahahaa..there r 2 guys sitting in front of us. Funny2..Me n Cello keep on bullying them. Hahahahaa..lawak..org kapit rupa2nya..4.30am arrived at Sibu Express Wharf.Awal mat.Sejuk amat.Celap amat.hahaha..waiting for 1st boat express to move.5.45am..meet some frens of my mummy..Artist.Iban singer( angela lata jua n johnny aman).Cello’s mamy favourite singer.nehhh..Even she’s doesn’t popular as Britney Spears, but if u r Iban, u shud know her..8.45am arrived at Kapit afta we have to scream all the time when we on da boatexpress.takut mai.kayu kayan everywhere.mau saja ketok itu driver bawak express laju2.mcm mau ilang saja ini jantung. Me n Cello bersukaria dpt tengok parents suda depan mata.mau saja nanges.melutut mintak maaf tp mesti nampak pelik.hahaha..bukan musim perayaan pun.bermula la perjalanan hidup yang baru di bandar yg cute tanpa pitbull n akon…hahahahaa…eh, lupak mok padah, ada picture kmkorg bergambar ngan pokok X-mas besar d BDC time mok balit riya...kelak upload..hehehee…to be continue..







[[ cadar baru mak ku beli dow!!! hahahaha ]]